Why do we resist life? Oh, wait, did I say that we resist life? Yep, I did. This morning, I was thinking about a blog topic and resistance ran through my mind and then other topics tried to crowd it out. Then I came into my office and picked up the book I use for my morning inspiration - the topic was Resistance. I had to laugh because at some level, I had resisted writing about resistance. Naturally, that got me to thinking about how I push back, defy, obstruct, impede, hinder my own good. (And, yes, I do love my thesaurus.) |
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there is more to this resistance thing than I realized. In my mind, resistance applied to change or to being put in a bad position. When it comes to making life changes, most of us feel some sort of resistance or hesitation even if we know it will be good for us. Sometimes we don’t want any change at all and we become frozen and stuck. If we feel that we are in a bad position, say when someone asks us to do something we don’t feel comfortable doing, we will resist and that makes some sort of sense.
But then all the small resistances started to rear their cute little heads. These probably apply to all of us, so know that I include myself in these questions: Do you resist washing the dishes, or hesitate going to bed early, or getting up early? Do you sit in the restaurant booth you were led to but sit then mentally resist that seat because you wanted to be outside? Do you push back at a suggestion simply because you didn’t want to hear it? How resistant are you when navigating heavy traffic?
When I started looking at it from this perspective I realized that each day is filled with resistance to the little things and that adds up to a whole lot of resistance in one day. But then there came another question: if you don’t resist, how do you maintain healthy boundaries with the rest of the world. I really don’t know, so I made up my own answer.
Perhaps there is a difference between saying No to something and actively resisting it. For example, I was planning to have today and tomorrow all to myself to get this blog and some other writing done. About an hour ago, my husband called to say that the landscape contractor wanted us to meet him at the nursery to pick out plants. My first reaction was to dig in my heels and I could feel the resistance in my whole body, my cells were contracting like mad. I tried to get out of it because I have an appointment about the time the contractor wanted to meet.
Well, could we go after the appointment?
AArrg! Please, no. Hey, wait, we already told the contractor what plants we want.
Jim agreed to call and talk to the contractor and call me back. He called me back and all was well, there was no need for either of us to go. For a moment, there, I found myself in full resist mode. What were my alternatives? I could have simply refused and carried resistance all day because I felt guilty, I could have gone and felt resentful, or I could do what I did, find an alternative that relieved the pressure and there was nothing to push back on.
This was not a tiny incident, nor was it a life shattering one, what it did, though was help me to see that there are hundreds of tiny things that I resist each day. Even more than being aware that I resist doing laundry or making a difficult phone call, I became aware that because these resistances are so small, we don’t notice what we are doing nor do we realize that with each tiny defiant act, we add to the pile of resistance in our consciousness only to find one day that we are impeding our growth. We are actively resisting Life.
How resistant do you feel to what you have just read? Did I feel some resistance while writing this? I did. But I am not going to carry that resistance for the rest of the day. This is the message I was led to offer today, so what’s to resist, just because maybe I didn’t want to hear it? But now I realize that by pushing back I am cutting off my good, not simply because I am rejecting something but because I am creating a tension in my body that doesn’t feel particularly good and that affects my mood which causes me to resist the negative mood, which causes . . . well you get the idea.
Sure there are lots to things we don’t want to do, don’t need to do, or should not do. But resistance is not the answer; openness to alternatives might be a better approach. I encourage you this week to be the Observer and notice all the little resistances you generate in a day. I further encourage you to laugh at yourself and look for a different way to deal with the thing you pushed away. Because I am pretty sure this is an important concept to consider. One resistance builds upon another and soon find you resist your very life.
Do you want to resist Life or live Life? I plan to work with this idea to fully embrace my own Life. When I get it perfected, I'll let you know - it’ll probably be two or three incarnations from now.
But then all the small resistances started to rear their cute little heads. These probably apply to all of us, so know that I include myself in these questions: Do you resist washing the dishes, or hesitate going to bed early, or getting up early? Do you sit in the restaurant booth you were led to but sit then mentally resist that seat because you wanted to be outside? Do you push back at a suggestion simply because you didn’t want to hear it? How resistant are you when navigating heavy traffic?
When I started looking at it from this perspective I realized that each day is filled with resistance to the little things and that adds up to a whole lot of resistance in one day. But then there came another question: if you don’t resist, how do you maintain healthy boundaries with the rest of the world. I really don’t know, so I made up my own answer.
Perhaps there is a difference between saying No to something and actively resisting it. For example, I was planning to have today and tomorrow all to myself to get this blog and some other writing done. About an hour ago, my husband called to say that the landscape contractor wanted us to meet him at the nursery to pick out plants. My first reaction was to dig in my heels and I could feel the resistance in my whole body, my cells were contracting like mad. I tried to get out of it because I have an appointment about the time the contractor wanted to meet.
Well, could we go after the appointment?
AArrg! Please, no. Hey, wait, we already told the contractor what plants we want.
Jim agreed to call and talk to the contractor and call me back. He called me back and all was well, there was no need for either of us to go. For a moment, there, I found myself in full resist mode. What were my alternatives? I could have simply refused and carried resistance all day because I felt guilty, I could have gone and felt resentful, or I could do what I did, find an alternative that relieved the pressure and there was nothing to push back on.
This was not a tiny incident, nor was it a life shattering one, what it did, though was help me to see that there are hundreds of tiny things that I resist each day. Even more than being aware that I resist doing laundry or making a difficult phone call, I became aware that because these resistances are so small, we don’t notice what we are doing nor do we realize that with each tiny defiant act, we add to the pile of resistance in our consciousness only to find one day that we are impeding our growth. We are actively resisting Life.
How resistant do you feel to what you have just read? Did I feel some resistance while writing this? I did. But I am not going to carry that resistance for the rest of the day. This is the message I was led to offer today, so what’s to resist, just because maybe I didn’t want to hear it? But now I realize that by pushing back I am cutting off my good, not simply because I am rejecting something but because I am creating a tension in my body that doesn’t feel particularly good and that affects my mood which causes me to resist the negative mood, which causes . . . well you get the idea.
Sure there are lots to things we don’t want to do, don’t need to do, or should not do. But resistance is not the answer; openness to alternatives might be a better approach. I encourage you this week to be the Observer and notice all the little resistances you generate in a day. I further encourage you to laugh at yourself and look for a different way to deal with the thing you pushed away. Because I am pretty sure this is an important concept to consider. One resistance builds upon another and soon find you resist your very life.
Do you want to resist Life or live Life? I plan to work with this idea to fully embrace my own Life. When I get it perfected, I'll let you know - it’ll probably be two or three incarnations from now.
May the joys of the world go with you.